Listening with Intent
There is a real distinction between merely hearing the words and really listening for the message. When we listen effectively we understand what the person is thinking and/or feeling from the other person’s own perspective. It is as if we were standing in the other person’s shoes, seeing through his/her eyes and listening through the person's ears. Our own viewpoint may be different and we may not necessarily agree with the person, but as we listen, we understand from the other's perspective. To listen effectively, we must be actively involved in the communication process, and not just listening passively.
We all act and respond on the basis of our understanding, and too often there is a misunderstanding that neither of us is aware of. With active listening, if a misunderstanding has occurred, it will be known immediately, and the communication can be clarified before any further misunderstanding occurs.
- “What we hear is what enables us to speak…. It is the listening function which is, far from being passive, or prime creative importance in determining the direction and future course of a conversational interaction.”
- Information theory defines information in terms of uncertainty about the next message to be received. This is counterintuitive, but the higher the uncertainty or surprise, the greater the new information or “surprise value” contributed by communication. Communication that brings nothing unexpected can only confirm what we already know, deepening the ruts of unquestioned thought habits.
- Listening itself, as the root dialogue, consists of a willingness to be surprised through anticipation and search for surprise.
- Scientific progress comes from a “satisfactory philosophy of ignorance” that recognizes “the openness of possibilities…. If we want to solve a problem that we have never solved before, we must leave the door to the unknown ajar.”
- A book is alive and potent and fructifying and able to promote thought and discussion only when its plan and shape and intention are not understood, because that moment of seeing the plan and shape and intention is also the moment when there isn’t anything more to be got out of it.
- If the purpose of dialogue is to find meaning, then the goal is not the arrival at a fixed point of understanding but rather the sustaining of a process. Meaning is not static but exist only within the process of its own development.
- “Without an unfolding, there is no meaning; meaning is a response, not only to the known but also the unknown; meaning and mystery are inseparable, and neither can exist without the passing of time.”
Question for Reflection: Why do you think the author included an entire section of the chapter dedicated to listening? What role does suspending judgement and hearing someone out play in creating a good learning environment?